I LOVE THE MODERN WORLD

So, my laptop is broken in a very irritating way.

For the past few months, the screen has been shattered - but only partially. I've still been using it because hey, 3/4 of the screen is enough, and more importantly I just plain can't afford to get it fixed.

Of course, the cracks make the screen very weak, and today it finally bit, er, more of the dust. I now have half a screen!

This would be workable if it was the right fucking half. As it is, the left side has shattered and is now completely unusable (whitescreen mess of broken pixels, no cursor, no nothing), which you might remember as being the side of the screen with:

a) the start button
b) the desktop icons
c) the taskbar programs

Because of the way I had my taskbar programs arranged, I've been juuust about able to select different programs (my holy trinity of itunes, open office and firefox) for the past few months, but now I can't even do that anymore. If I hadn't had a browser window open at the time when the cracks got worse, I wouldn't even be able to post this. As it is, with half a screen, I'm zipping this window back and forth like I'm writing this at a fucking typewriter.

Ugh...any suggestions of what to do, guys? Miraculous cheap ways of getting it fixed? I usually try to laugh off computer issues but on this occassion I am truly...just...ugh.

I need to be rich for one day. I'm so sick of shit like this :S

About fic updates, I'll try my best, but I don't know if I can make it work guys. I need to find a way of opening open office without a start menu or taskbar, and then not give myself a stress hernia by typing in a document that's too small.

Oh, and if I have to turn my computer off for any reason, I am fucked three ways from friday because my login screen is now unusable.

Jesus Christ I'm so fucking angry.

...When you're writing porn and your mum pops her head around the door.

"Hiii andrew_in_drag! What's for dinner tonight?"

Can I tell you what I made for dinner in a minute, mum? I'm currently up to my ears in cock.


In other news, let's hear it for writing about dicks!

You know what I don't get? Role-playing.

As in, the collaborative fanfic writing kind of role-playing. When it comes to people pretending to be virginal milkmaids and well-hung stable boys in the privacy of their bedrooms, I'm sure they find their romantic shenanigans very fulfilling, so if they can keep a straight face during all that then frankly, more power to 'em.

But I've never understood RPing. How do you get around the crashing awkwardness of that? By building friendships? No! Let's write porn together: no friendship is that strong!

It's the same reason I don't really get these kind of forum things where everybody picks a character and then directs that character as they go to town on stuff. Of course, I'm also such a control freak that the mere thought of somebody tampering with my storylines elicits a near stroke - and not even a stroke of genius. Just a shitty normal stroke.

What do you think, guys? Should I be more open-minded? Or will I forever be giggling at my own naughty words in the privacy of my own Open Office document?

This entry was pointless. Also, I'm writing porn right now.

That is all.

So, when I was thirteen and I was first introduced to J-rock, I was pretty into Miyavi. Years have passed and I still have a very closely-held nostalgic love for him, but recently I've been so incredibly disappointed.

Not with the direction his music or image has taken...

But with the decisions he is making as his own management, in regard to some of his media.

The other day, I saw the music video for 'Secret'. Honestly, I was disgusted. It is never alright to objectify women in any way, let alone in such a blatant and sexist fashion. This video features a model (and posing is quite literally the extent of her role) in fetish wear, black X's of tape over her nipples, in full lad's mag positioning on a revolving platform. Does she have a character? No. In the copious shots of her, her face is hardly featured. Far from being a celebration of sexuality, there's a clinical coldness to the shots that should make any forward-thinking woman of today thoroughly uncomfortable. We are not pieces of meat. You do not treat us this way.

More disappointing still was that, when I voiced this opinion, I was immediately shouted down by others. I was told that if I thought it was wrong, I shouldn't get into a relationship with a man who would treat me that way*; I was told that media personalities have no duty to be role models.

Except they do. They have an awesome duty to be role models, especially in a fandom like this one: the visual kei fanbase is, as we know, very largely female, and especially popular amongst younger females. Young women, in other words, are the target audience for this music video, which teaches them that if they work hard and keep their minds open, they can spread their legs in front of a real pop star.

I understand that this is so desperately commonplace in the music industry, but personally I believe that Miyavi should be setting an example. Why? Because he manages himself. He is under contract with his own production company. On a more basic level, he has two young daughters. I want him to have to explain this video to them one day.

Being a feminist doesn't mean having to protest the shaving of your legs, or hating men, or burning bras. Being a feminist means standing up for women even when they're more interested in professing loyalty to a popstar than they are to their own gender; being a feminist means believing that women have a right to be treated better than this. And I am really, really disappointed. And I don't care if this post makes me unpopular, because even hateful discourse is discourse, and by the looks of this video, we could really use more of that in our society.


*My boyfriend is a feminist. And he's awesome.

So I have an issue, guys.

I don't want to name any names at all, and therefore I won't. I don't believe the solution to this is to name and shame.

But: my plagiarism issue is not going away. I am still finding people copying my writing - sometimes just lifting paragraphs; sometimes taking the whole thing verbatim - and asking them nicely to stop doesn't seem to work.

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to f-lock my work (a lot of writers seem to do that just to gain friends, and that ain't what I'm about), but I'm worrying that it might come to that. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Hey guyyys!

So the next chapter of House of Cards is going well, it's flowing super easily and I'm really excited about it. I'm about 1100 words in right now, so it really shouldn't be too long to wait at all!

So I wanna double-edge some requests: for a start, it's been aaaages since I feel like I read some good fic. Any recommendations? I don't care how old it is! Dir en grey mainly, I guess, although the old stereotypes aren't so my game (girly!Toshiya and girly!Shinya are a no-no for me).

On the other hand, a lot of your comments have been making me rather curious...so I wanna ask you, what do you think would be cool to see in House of Cards?

This is a big fic and I'm exploring a lot of new territory in it, especially with the slash stuff (hi, I'm old andrew_in_drag, I'm vanilla as fuck)...I wanna know how you ladies and gentlemen feel about the route this is starting to take in regard to that.

Although I have fairly strong ideas in my head, I would still be open to changing them if I see something that is a) a better fit for the characters and b) something I feel confident that I can write better. Or at least well.

And of course, if what you say is the same as what I think, I will continue smugly on my merry way :D

It's a Q&A! Only with one question, and one answer. And the answer doesn't answer the question. I'm asking you the question.

Q: When I was scrabbling round for Gazette source information, one of you lovely folk gave me a link to a tumblr that translates Aoi and Ruki's tweets.

I went back as far as I dared in my inbox (suffice to say I have never cleared it out and there is just so much weird stuff in there) and I still can't seem to find out who that person was. I feel like I need to thank them all over again because Aoi's tweets give me life with their (tragically accidental) hilarity.

[Although they are trying to inspire me for something and that needs to stop RIGHT NOW because of House of Cards and my inability to multitask. They are trying to make me write a fic in which he understands nothing and everything is a nightmare~ drama~ and then somebody slaps some sense into him; like As Good As It Gets, but with stupidity.]

So if you are that person and you want an imaginary bouquet of flowers that you can show off to all your friends, please come forward and accept my lovings.

I think this person also said that they found the dynamic in most Aoi/Uruha fics problematic because Aoi is also presented as this majorly aloof sex symbol whom Uruha desperately craves in a girlish fashion, and I didn't even realise how much I agreed with that until I looked at House of Cards and saw how I am starting to write the relationship dynamic.


A: It's not really an answer, but it's something I have to address.

In my entry a few days ago about the new LJ 'who's in your journal' feature, I made some jokes about feeling paranoid about the strangers who consistently visit my journal.

But these were jokes.

Because of the amount of worried messages I've been getting, I'd just like to clarify: no, I'm not mad at anyone. I don't know why I would be. Yes, I love getting feedback, and when I'm insecure about what I've written I can feel like I need to get feedback, but that doesn't mean that I hate you because you don't comment. On the contrary, I love the idea that I have way more readers than I ever thought.

As for those who take the time and push themselves to comment regularly, maybe you don't know how grateful I am.

But one day soon I will come for you. Maybe not today - maybe not even tomorrow.
But soon.
And you will know I am The Lord when I lay my hand upon you

But seriously, I take critique too. Critique is the only chance I have of fixing the problems that bother you. I am absolutely happy to recieve critique in the comments, but please don't message me saying "your writing has done this wrong for X Y and Z fics". Ya could have helped me and you kept quiet all that time? In this case, I won't fix it out of pure spite.

SIMILARLY, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: if you are these people who have never left a comment, never established any dialogue with me - do not suddenly start messaging me telling me how "unfair" it is that I don't focus on shipping YOUR OTPs. Don't you dare write to me and say how stupid it is that I "waste my time" writing AU.
Here's a bit of trivia for you: THERE ARE ACTUALLY NO HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THESE BAND MEMBERS AND THEREFORE IT IS ALL AU. THE BANDIEST OF BANDFICS IS AU BECAUSE IT. ISN'T. REAL.
These people: you know who you are. I don't owe you anything. I have lots of lovely readers who are able to frame these types of thoughts as requests - "I would love to see what you think of X pairing", "a bandfic could be interesting" - and these? These are the ones I'm going to take notice of.

TL;DR: strangers, please be nice and remember that I don't actually owe you anything. regular commenters, thank you for ever and be aware that I owe you everything.

Who else is feeling it?!

The part at the top that tells you who visits your journal...

Dear god, I have to forcefully yank my eyes away from there.

This is definitely stroking my ego way too much. Curse you, LJ!

Hey ladies and, er, ladies.
And secret boys?

Exam season is here in wintry Canada. Normally I'd say this would make me less productive, but my mind is so contrary that it's done exactly the opposite. I DON'T WANT TO REVISE so instead I am one-shotting like a bitch.

Here is today's exam story:
( cut for rambling like a bitch )

Had my op. 

Feeling very very very sore today (ow to everything) but should be allowed to go home tomorrow, which is good. The surgery was in the midriff area so sitting up and moving is the main agony issue at the moment. Laughing is also pretty grim. 

So obviously I am conscious (hurrah!), but also feeling very vague and dreamy in the head...I'll try to have something up soon! x