I LOVE THE MODERN WORLD

You know the deal. As per usual, searching for inspiring pictures - when Kyo suddenly reached out of my computer screen and slapped me.

Well, not quite. But he did hit me right in the House of Cards.

Part of me has the sneaking suspicion that this is some kind of photoshop, but even so.



SERIOUSLY. I have such a weakness for seeing Kyo in traditional clothing. There was that one picture of him from a while ago (like, light blond hair a while ago) where he was in some traditional summer clothes, but this is something ELSE.

It's really not fair, with pictures like this. He may as well be sitting with a gun at my head forcing me to write.

And so once again this gif is me.

So I have internet to scrounge off (the benefit of living in teeny-tiny close-together english houses is that your neighbours have their wifi all up in yo grill) and I paid the bill today, yesss!

So we should be reconnected in a matter of business days yada yada yada.

In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, I want to talk favourites. My favourites, your favourites, everybody's favourites. (I can feel the Americans are melting at all these extraneous u's right here.)

If you got the time, kings and queens, I want to know all about your favourite oneshot, and your favourite chaptered fic. If you're a writer as well, I wanna know all about your favourite oneshot and chaptered fic from your writing inventory. What did you like about it? Don't be afraid to blow your own horn. Or anybody else's horn!

( Cut for horn-blowing )

Hello ladies!

I like The GazettE. Based on this, I would like my next fic to be a Gazefic. 
I think it's important for me to take a one-fic break from the kind of Dir en Angst I've been writing. I seriously need to avoid getting stuck in a rut with that - if I'm not already there! 

I think the chance to write about some new characters will be really refreshing. I want to avoid creating special andrew_in_drag stereotypes (crazy cryptic Kyo, anyone?) and just generally stretch my legs a little. 

The thing is, I came into Dir en grey when I was at that fan age. I was 13 and became sooo obsessed sooo fast. It's that obsession that helps you write about them, because you know things - the ages, the birthdays, the heights and foibles and characteristics. It's amazing inspiration. 

Whilst I like Gazette's music, I got into them "later in life" (yes, I'm all of 20 years old)...at an age and time whilst I'm too busy to become a superduper trivia chest about every band I like. I like a lot more music now. My 160GB iPod is starting to split apart at the seams, it's that full of great bands! 

So I would like a little help, ladies (and secret boys): Gazette details! Heights, full birthdays...all that general stuff would be so much appreciated! 

Because Superstar is nearing its end, I am in the planning stage for this one. I think it's going to be called The Misfits. 

For writing The Glasshouse...which is really difficult! 
It's hard to stay inside my Kyo's head sometimes, because (happily!) I don't have a major depressive disorder. Trying to imagine how somebody with any kind of mental disorder would view the world is very hard for me. I don't want to go too far into a psychological analysis of my Kyo, but it does seem like there's quite a bit wrong with him, even if he is generally quite functional. 

SO. I was wondering if any of you, my lovely readers, have any experience with mental illness - regardless of severity and type; whether you or somebody else suffer with it - and, if so, you might be gracious enough to answer this little questionnaire for me. 

Obviously, I can understand this is a sensitive issue, so I'd recommend that you post as anonymous if there's even a slight chance that any of what you write here will come back to haunt you, since this journal is not f-locked. 

1. What is the name (if known) of the condition?
2. What are the general symptoms that you/other person suffer from? 
3. Is your/other person's ability to relate to other people affected? How? 
4. Does it affect your/other person's ability to do/enjoy normal activities?
5. Do you think you/other person views the world differently to other people? How? 
6. What are the worst/bleakest thoughts that you/other person have associated with your condition? 

If you do take the time to fill that out, if you can, then thanks very much and best of wishes.

And now the office chart! 

1. Transmission - Joy Division
2. Real Love - Beach House
3. Fukai - Dir en grey
4. Peacebone - Animal Collective 
5. Scatterheart - Bjork
6. How Do You Sit Still? - Radiohead
7. Atmosphere - Joy Division
8. Declare Independence - Bjork
9. On The Highway - Animal Collective
10. Cage - Dir en grey

So, having finished Fifteen Years, I have slowly started banging my doldrums, because I want to be writing again. 

Fifteen Years was a very intense writing experience. Not only did it touch on things that were a bit heavier than my usual subject matter, but I also did not write ahead to the extent I normally do...so I found myself writing a chapter a day, every day, composing it in my head during work and then writing it all down after work. So my output was about 2500 words a day, which is quite a lot when you consider that's the same size as my average assigned essay.

Although I fear in third year they will rise to 3000 words and beyond. But we just won't talk about that. 

So anyway, now that I'm no longer writing it, I'm really missing having that distraction...!

So what I am getting around to, in a pretty rubbish way, is that tonight/this morning I put down the first few words of my (as yet untitled) companion piece, featuring Kyo's side of the story. But I mean, crikey, son. This really will be a jump into deeper, darker, dirtier waters for me. When I sat down with my laptop and started thinking about it, it struck me that if I was going to write this, it would be impossible to escape the theme of mental illness. If I didn't cover mental illness in this fic, well, that'd be like Plath writing The Bell Jar without mental illness. Or Kesey writing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest without mental illness. Or Morrison writing Beloved without the slavery or sawn-up baby - er, I digress. 

And it's a little intriguing to me, because although Fifteen Years didn't gain the same readership as, say, AMLOR, those of you who read it and were nice enough to comment on the final chapter seemed to just get more out of it. If that doesn't sound too pretentious. (It does, but fuck it, I'm too old to change now.) I received some comments that were wonderfully long and absolutely charming, and even affably bonkers (I'm looking at you, jade_lil).Overall, I just felt like my writing had gone up a notch. Of course, whether people actually agree with that or not is a different matter! But I felt good.

SO, what I want to know is, if I go down this genuinely troublesome route, will ya lovely ladies and potential gents in disguise still be interested in reading? 

And also, I need a bleddy title.