Oneshot: Desire Lines

[andrew_in_drag]

Title: Desire Lines
Author: andrew_in_drag
Pairing: Kyo/Die
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, hard drug use
Synopsis: Last night I dreamed that it was summer again.

Desire Lines

Last night I dreamed that it was summer again.

Sweet summer night.

Spent it stripped to the sheets.

Too hot to touch you, skin like fire, but I did it anyway.

You smiled into the curve of my neck, fingers chasing the lines and colours of my tattoos until my eyes blurred and they bled into my skin.

What kind of person lets someone draw all over their body?

This kind of person.

You put the world into sets of two, decks of cards with red suits, black suits, partnered cops, marriages, twins. In every set there's the difficult opposites: me flat on my back and you jittering at the window. I can hear it like a voice from the moon, from the clock, from your drumming fingers: you're not going to get tired. Crossing and uncrossing your long legs, braiding and unbraiding your long hair.

It's too hot. Let's go—

I know, I know. Quick feet have to move and smooth skin has to breathe.

So we'll go for a walk round the residential streets.

Where the air is so still because the buildings sleep.

Last night I dreamed that it was summer again.

Toxic orange city skies. Glowing sick. You smiled and lit a cigarette.

Even in my dreams, you're never exactly perfect. You itch and stutter over excited words, your eyes blink hectic, you smoke—

You smoke.

Yeah, well, do as I say and not as I do.

If I could I'd preserve you behind glass; wrap you up in plastic.

Even when I hear your voice in my head my own Gion drawl fades over it, in and out. My whole head, like a badly tuned radio; wincing on and off like a migraine.

You dance to the songs from the cars as they pass. Shooting static.

Shooting up.

Nimble feet against heated pavements that smell like they've been sucking up sun and car exhaust and rubber soles all day; breeze takes the summertime stink of soot and metal and trash in piles.

Your flushed face close to mine, your hands gentle around my face. I can feel the little pulses beating in your fingers.

I feel your lips move against my ear as you whisper to me, don't cool off, I like your warmth.

You have long, gentle musician's fingers. They're slipping under my shirt in a back alley, rough brick against my back; they're easing my clothes out of the way and freeing my skin to the night. In a quiet neighbourhood where people are living without wings, you let my pants fall around my knees and bite down on my lower lip.

Don't cool off.

I taste your hot, sweet mouth.

Trash in piles all over the city. It's a midnight feast for the rats.

You're the pied piper and they're following you out of town and into the river, into the deep blue sea.

I'm following, too. You're streamlining.

Mainlining.

Times like this, we're almost in love.

Last night I dreamed it was summer again.

Woke up on a bed of nails.

Turned to you scratching your arms bloody and disturbing the sleep-thick air with your shivers, your jaggedness, gritting your teeth and flashing sad, hateful eyes at me.

Spitting I can't do this anymore.

Crying I can't do this anymore.

Please. Please. Just one more time.

Smiling at me desperately, tears on your eyelashes, kissing my cheeks.

Every day has become a hangover.

You settle your long body over mine, and I wipe away the sweat beading on your forehead. It's not in my nature to be patient or to be gentle, but I try. You kiss me softly, your warm lips sticking to mine; you whisper beautiful lies in my deaf left ear.

Mumble touch me against my lips. Tendrils of your hair tickle my face, my collar bones, my chest. I watch your tongue trace the muscles there and think how weak I am in spite of it all.

Underneath our skin, we're all the same. Under our muscles and our bones, we're all just exactly the same: blood, and desire lines, crossing over us all. Running at parallels, never touching until we meet, and there they intersect.

And they form new angles.

You breathe warm over my flushed, hard dick, grind against me, groan soft. You catch me off guard by smiling, the boy you used to be flashes behind your eyes and I'm freefalling.

Freebasing.

The needle tracks blur on your arms.

Wind around me, tight as a tourniquet.

Digging your grave with a silver spoon.

Last night I dreamed that it was summer again.

You and I were on the pier and you were ducking out of the shadows, grinning that same old stupid, love-me grin, sunlight unfolding in your hair. You licked salt from my lips, held my hand as the seabirds squalled.

Hey, kicking me gently, I love you.

Yeah, well, I love you too.

Sweet eyes. Smooth smile against my temple, and your forehead knocks tenderly against mine.

Forever?

Yeah, forever.

A/N: Partially inspired by two things. a) Requiem for a Dream, b) the fact that my room is so. fucking. hot.
I am impressed by my productivity today! One Aoi/Uruha oneshot, one Die/Kyo oneshot and half a chapter of House of Cards. Also, as of 11pm, no less than 48 people have come through my journal today. Thanks for commenting guys.
^ Obviously I have decided that passive-aggression is the way to get feedback. Cry cry cry.

Comments

[ankaraferus.livejournal.com]

oooo love this. love the structure and imagery.

listening to Hydra -666- as I read this :P killer.

gawd I need to write something, but all my muses have fled. can I borrow yours?

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much!

Yes, write! Aid me in cheerfully clogging up everybody's friends pages :D

As for my muses, sure. But they might be kind of sticky...

[ankaraferus.livejournal.com]

sticky muses are the best kind

join me in the gutter, my babies :P

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

In the gutter? Well now I'm just feeling like you and I should really hang out more.

[ankaraferus.livejournal.com]

give me a pairing and a premise and set me loose. who knows what will happen. ;) I've been begging a friend for a Yukki(Lycaon)xRyuka(Depain) fic, but she's holding out on me. I've half a mind to write it myself.

The lips on those two. Could you imagine? *shiver*

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Haha, I'm afraid I'm wayyy too oldskool to even know who those people are! I know, I'm very disappointing.

Ooh, this is interesting. I've never actually made a request before, which is probably pretty obvious because I have no idea what to ask for!

But when I'm lacking inspiration, I tend to find it in songs a lot. A lot of the time I find a lyric I really like and work from there, like "if this was a line in a story, what would the story be?" Most songs have a narrative, so I find it fun to spin that out.

Either that, or I look at pictures and then try to put those pictures together with little phrases (literally every oneshot I write, without fail, starts with one central phrase), and see where a story comes out of that. For example, this oneshot came from two little phrases, "Last night I dreamed..." and "Don't cool off, I like your warmth".
Then, I'd wanted to write something with a drug abuse theme, so it kind of came together that way.

I realise this is SO VERY UNHELPFUL but sometimes, trying other people's techniques can really give you a boost. I want to read grrreat fiction so don't give up!

[ankaraferus.livejournal.com]

no that is definitely helpful. I'm always interested in trying new methods.

and, what are you talking about old school! you were born in the 90's!! lol (yes, I checked out your profile)

My stories tend to start with an image. I'll have a clear picture of one scene, action, setting in my head and the story shapes from that. I often write the end of a story before I write the beginning for this reason.

[doraemi-san.livejournal.com]

I think I'm in love ;____;


Although it seems that this oneshot was written in a Western style in my mind, there was Kyo as a geisha from Gion, humming a song for his danna, who is red as the sunset skyline, the burning lattern, the spreading wagasa umbrella, the geisha's lips of the Gion festival ;___;

Three times Kyo thought about summer, it was just too hot that I'm afraid that there will be only ashes left. But at the 4th time, it's like summer rain is pouring *_*

I'm in love I'm in love omg ;____;

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! This was an awesome comment to get.

You have such a cool way of thinking and writing about things.

[velvet-liquor.livejournal.com]

You know, your paranoia makes me paranoid, too. Last night, right in front of my fridge, I thought "I checked the posts out, but didn't get to read. It means no comment from me. But she has a stalking disorder. She knows I came. SHE KNOWS." . You almost make me feel guilty when I don't have time to read but still go on your lj as soon as I get the notification in my inbox *snorts*

I have to congratulate you, though, because finishing a one-shot with Kyo Ono and Die-eyebrows-of-doom-sexy-ugly is not easy. Definitely not easy. But Kaoru is now harder than ever. Well, hard... Who knows *dirty smirk* (YES, I am deep in the gutter. Very, very deep...)

The fact that Requiem for a Dream inspired you kind of shows in a way. It was like the whole story had some kind of fog around it, one that prevents from understanding it all, but still allows you a few glimpses that leaves you hungry for more.

grinning that same old stupid, love-me grin
Stupid and Die definitely work together. Definitely. I couldn't help but smile (quite stupidly, too) at that line.

Also, I have to admit that Kyo trying to fight his own urges in order to be patient, gentle.. well... it is kind of hot.

I liked that *nods*

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

I am LOLing at 'stalking disorder', because yes I do and totally. But don't let it make you paranoid! You have always been so kind and nice and encouraging with your comments; I've always had so much support from you; you have BEYOND earned yourself a free pass. Like those fast-track tickets you get at Disneyland.

As for Requiem for a Dream, oh god I love that movie so much already. The bit that always comes back and inspires me is that little interlude where Harry is fucked off his face and he hallucinates Marion at the end of the pier at Coney Island. That bit just always made me so sad; it's such a good way of demonstrating how we fantasize about idealised versions of people and life, even when the truth is so different.

But seriously, I really hope you don't feel like you absolutely have to comment every time! You get to sit at the front of the class with me. Next to the blackboard. And El Barba

[velvet-liquor.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I don't feel like I have to comment, but I want to ♥ it's a bit like giving treats to a cute puppy. You give it, and you can't help but smile when you see the puppy wriggling its tail happily. And then, of course, you put a wig on it. Or a hat. Or a sombrero. Because.

Oh oh, I get the front seat. Do I get to grope you under the table?

FUCK I WANT TO GO BACK TO DISNEYLAAAAND. I'll go. Soon. Next weeeeek ♥

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

What happens under the table stays under the table bb.

Sombrero?! IT'S A DOG, IT'S NOT KAORU

I haven't been to Disneyland in years. I would love to go back! I love theme parks so much; I always say I'm not going to go on the big roller coasters and then I do and then it's like, suck my dick, I didn't even throw up. Are you legitimately going next week?! Because DAMN YOU FRENCH I'M SO JEALOUS if you are!

[velvet-liquor.livejournal.com]

Oh yes I am going there 8D I'll send you pics, because I'm evil like that 8D

[nectarivorous.livejournal.com]

These recent oneshots have been very... poetic? They read like songs, the imagery is great... keep it up, cause I love it.

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much :) I'm really glad you like the style, because I was feeling a little insecure about it!

[random-x13.livejournal.com]

Oh how I loved this so so so much!
I fall in love with your one-liners!!

Ack... and I really do Need to try to work on that Yuuki / Ryuka one-shot for ankaraferus.... but I've hit such a hard wall of writers block.... I haven't been able to write ANYTHING! It's driving me nuts.

<//3

[cadkitten.livejournal.com]

I love the poetic line of the whole thing. Sorry I missed it until now!