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andrew_in_dragRating: NC-17
Pairings: Kyo/Toshiya, Kaoru/Toshiya, Die/Shinya, Aoi/Uruha
General Warnings: AU, slash, violence, language, yakuza theme, character death
Chapter Warnings: none
Previously: The Prodigy | The Rent Boy | The Escort | The Imposter | The Professional | The Shateigashira | The Bargain | The Addict | The Rookie | The Long Night | The Lights | The Chase | The Brothel | The Pits | The Memory | The Truce | The Plan | The Shateigashira's Game | The Oyabun | The Suspect
Notes: this is the prequel to Protect Me. For the yakuza terminology and hierarchy that I'm working with, please see here.
When a young prostitute is found with blood on his hands, he catches the eye of the Inagawa clan's prodigy and quickly finds himself tangled up within Osaka's criminal underworld. Taken into a yakuza house and pimped by the mysterious shateigashira, he is desperate for any means of escape - but in a house of cards, can anybody really be trusted?
CHAPTER TWENTY: THE REVELATIONS
Thursday morning dawned dull and blustery, with a hard, pale winter sun peeking out from behind the restless clouds; when Kyo walked down the street, the pavements rang out beneath his feet as if they had frozen, and crystal lines of frost clung to the grouting and the lowermost limbs of the trees. He saw a single drifting line of cobweb, threaded as if with jewels. He destroyed it with a sweep of his hand and moved on.
The thought of seeing Toshiya made him feel uncomfortable. Not only because of how things had ended between them last time, or because of what he had said to the oyabun, but because there seemed to be some kind of natural progression forming between their encounters. No matter how cruel Kyo was, Toshiya still greeted him with that same docility, and it made Kyo nervous.
It made him feel like Toshiya was hiding something, or planning something. Keeping him sweet, until it was time to strike.
It wasn't a situation that Kyo had prepared himself for, and that was what worried him the most. Preparation was key. Since his early childhood he had been readying himself for occasions like these – the tests, the temptations. He had sold his soul to it with those hours spent alone, his muscles trembling with exhaustion in the dark, the strong, simple thoughts circling in his head: curl yourself up and under. Tuck your corners in; don't leave anything out. Make yourself hard like a stone.
And, he had to face it – the first time he had set eyes upon Toshiya, he had seen a lost child curled up on the floor with blood on his hands and tears on his face – and nothing more. There had been nothing about him to suggest that he possessed any kind of strength. Now, though, it was happening more and more in Kyo's mind: Toshiya was starting to feel like some figure from a prophecy, his opposite and also his biggest threat. The same battles that Kyo fought with cruelty, Toshiya fought with tenderness. Kyo felt the biggest question was why, in that case, cruelty did not automatically come out on top.
Worse still, he looked at Toshiya now and found a peculiar feeling prickling at his skin, simpler and yet darker than lust or desire, and scary because it was so unknown to him – sour and steady – guilt. It gnawed away at him like a rat; it bit and pulled at him, unwinding his loose threads; it brought with it an array of partners: regret, pity, anxiety. Had he, after all, made the right choice? He had never second-guessed himself before.
He arrived at the brothel earlier than he had intended, but he was still told – in a quivering, apologetic voice – that Toshiya was busy all day, working non-stop, couldn't fit Kyo in anywhere.
Kyo said that was fine, that he could come back tomorrow, no problem, and he was ashamed at how relieved he felt.
Toshiya, Toshiya, Toshiya. It made his head hurt; it beat a tattoo across his heart.
The same wind that blew for Kyo blew downtown; it flattened leaves and litter against the plate glass windows of Kai's hole-in-the-wall café. Inside, he stood behind the counter, dreamily wiping non-existent grease from its top: it was this time that he loved, after the early-morning crush of commuters – all the busy men and women who took their coffee in takeaway cups and didn't sit down at the tables – and before the lunch crowd. Apart from that six until nine dash, the place never really got busy, and Kai liked it that way. The café didn't turn much of a profit – or any profit at all, some months – but it always seemed to tick by, and he liked it when it was quiet enough for him to talk to his customers.
Especially his favourite customer. He had known Reita for three years now; he came in every day. He always bought something – always a light meal, soup or a salad – and never had dessert no matter what Kai offered him. He lingered over coffee or tea, sometimes chatting or sometimes just reading, and he left at different times each day; sometimes he stayed only five minutes; sometimes he dipped his head respectfully and was out the door only when it was time for Kai to start stacking the chairs on top of the tables.
The bell over the door rang, announcing a customer and jerking Kai out of his reverie. Instantly he perked up, a happy smile filling out his face: it was another one of his regulars, a lean young man with some important career or other – doctor, maybe? Policeman? Kai plunged for the latter.
“Kaoru!” he heralded, waving his customer over, “Are you police chief yet?”
“Hello, Kai. Not exactly. I was shadowing the detective superintendent on something big, but the trail's going cold.”
“Oh?” Kai wiped his hands cheerfully, “Like what? Is it a serial killer, or a terrorist? Oh, or some kind of cyber-villain?”
Kaoru looked very tired, but he smiled at that. They both knew that he couldn't have told Kai even if he was right.
“Define 'cyber-villain',” he deflected lightly, and Kai grinned.
“That's slippery of you. Well, like that kid – you know, he lived around here, they caught him a few months back. Just some bored genius in his bedroom or something, they caught him hacking into your database.” Kai laughed. “Apparently he was looking for your 'lost files' on UFOs, or something. Some genius, right? Downtown Osaka's a strange place to go looking for martians.”
“Things turn up in all kinds of places. I'm looking for something myself,” Kaoru said pointedly, and Kai's grin faltered a little.
“Ah,” he said quietly, “The ulterior motive. Alright – I'll bite. Something tells me you're not talking about aliens.”
“No.”
Kai's smile slipped a little further.
“I'm not in trouble, am I?” he asked, leaning forwards secretively, “Because I promise you, you can run this place through with a fine-tooth comb and you won't find one single health code violation, I swear it—”
“Kai, that's not my job. Relax, okay? I'm not here officially, I'm just...”
Kaoru paused. He was just – what? Chasing impossible leads? Dreaming up problems?
“...Curious,” he finished finally, “I just have a few questions.”
“Bet you're going to put the answers down in that notebook of yours, though, aren't you?” Kai teased, and grinned. When he smiled, it changed his whole appearance: his cheeks dimpled and the skin around his eyes crinkled upwards, as if he was smiling not only with his mouth but with his whole face.
“Alright,” he said, “Sit me down, officer.”
As it turned out, Kaoru was not content to just make notes on his spiral-bound pad – he also took out his tape recorder, setting it up on the table and glancing at Kai quickly to check his reaction.
“Is this alright?” he asked carefully. “It's just – even if I wrote down every word, you know—” but Kai waved his words away.
“Go ahead.”
“Alright.” Kaoru cleared his throat. “So, this is about another customer of yours. It's somebody I notice here a lot, and I think you're on pretty close terms with him. The blonde-haired guy.”
“Oh...” Kai nodded slowly, “Alright.”
“You have his name?”
“Well...it's Reita. But – what's this for, exactly, anyway?”
Kaoru prided himself on behind an honest man. He always, always told the truth, and so on that day he was shocked at the smoothness with which the lie left his lips.
“It's embarrassing,” he said, “But really I'm just practising my interview technique.”
“So Reita...?”
“I just picked him at random.”
“Oh!” Kai smiled, looking relieved, “Well, then! Sorry. Go on.”
“Thanks. So Reita – he comes in every day?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“About what time, would you say?”
“Oh, I – about four, I guess?”
“And how long have you known him?”
“Three years or so, I think.”
“And what do you know about his personal life?”
“You mean...?”
“I mean, does he have a girlfriend, or a family, or what?”
“Oh...” Kai frowned slightly, “No, I don't think so. He's more of a lone wolf type.”
“Alright. Do you know what he does?”
“I...no. I don't.”
“You don't know?”
“No, I don't.” Kai's frown deepened, “I guess he never mentioned it. Maybe he's unemployed. Or a student, or something.”
“But you've never seen him studying, or wearing any kind of uniform...anything like that?”
“Not that I can remember. He always wears pretty much the same kind of clothes. He's always pretty casually dressed, and he wears a lot of black.”
“D'you know where he lives?”
“Oh, well. Not really. South side, I think.”
The two men smiled uneasily at each other, both in the process of realising the same thing: that Kai had been friends with Reita for years and yet, he didn't know a single thing about him. Not an address, not a job, not a friend. The man had no connections at all.
That's a little too neat.
Lone wolf, Kai had said.
Kaoru thanked him, packed up his tape recorder and went home to sleep.
Perhaps if the rookie policeman had been able to tail Reita for a little while longer, he would have started to notice just how similar their two lives were. The revelation would not have been a happy one, for either man: both, if asked, would have staunchly declared to be the absolute opposites of each other.
Really, the only difference was that they operated on divergent sides of the law. To Kaoru, that made all the difference, but the truth was that they were still oddly alike: their sparse apartments were all but identical, as were their equally sparse social lives. Reita actually made a fair amount of money doing what he did, but he had no real interest in spending it; his one indulgence was his weapons. Both men carried a cell phone at all times: Kaoru's list of contacts was full of his colleagues and superiors; Reita's was full of his clients, transcribed under a host of pseudonyms that he had carefully memorised. Neither had any family members listed.
If asked about that, neither of them would have admitted why. That was their biggest similarity: their strength and their silence.
And of course, Kaoru had no idea what darker forces acted behind Reita. If he had met the shateigashira face to face, if he had known him for a hundred years, he never would have guessed it; that darkness meeting his own, that loneliness reflecting his own face like a mirror. When Kaoru couldn't sleep, he did push-ups, chin-ups, sit-ups; he lifted weights, he studied, he cleaned. He built himself into a man to forget the small boy he had once been – that child riding too close behind him – whilst Kyo lay awake because his young self was lost already. Their minds worked in surprisingly similar ways: they both equated innocence with naivete; trust with foolishness; they both worked so hard to hide it: the very best of themselves.
“D'you think it's a waste, that I'm here?”
“On the contrary, you're perhaps one of the best whores we have.”
If I could go back, I'd say it differently. I'd say what I felt; what I meant.
“Do you think it's a waste, that I'm here?”
Yes. No.
I'm glad we met.
Shinya woke up that morning to a scrabble of four paws, to a fur soft as milkweed and an enthusiastic tongue against his cheek. He sat up abruptly and cried out in spite of himself: a soft sound of joy.
“Look at you,” he whispered, pulling the tiny dog close, “Wow, look.”
At the corner of his room, pushed apologetically just beyond the doorway, there was a cardboard box with a slightly shredded handwritten note inside it.
She's a chihuahua, but I guess you probably know that already. I think you're the smartest person I know.
I thought maybe you'd like to have a dog again.
(Just in case you needed a reason to stay.)
A/N: 1. Hi guys. I'm feeling pretty down today, so I'm not as happy with this chapter as I normally like to be. So, sorry in advance if it's pooooor.
2. That said, over the last few updates, LJ's 'spy on your journal lurkers' has become my new best friend. More than forty of you silently flood these pages every time there's a new chapter. Come on now, ladies! (And gentlemen. Although if you're a boy, two thumbs way up just for being here.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:00 am (UTC)From:And about the lurkers thing, I just thought the exact same thing three minutes ago when I noticed I had three or four pages of people that had been on my journal in the last two days and had a grand total of four comments in the last few weeks XDD this is ridiculous. Have people lost the ability to write a simple comment? I'd better go to bed..
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:06 am (UTC)From:Normally I don't mind, but honestly this week I have PMS so everybody needs to love me.
It wouldn't be so bad but when it's the saaaame peeeople eeevery tiiiime it just drives me nuts. I've taken to going to lurk in their journals. JUST so they know I'm watching them.
These new livejournal features are turning me into a fucking serial killer
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:08 am (UTC)From:Alright, that wasn't really less crazy.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:14 am (UTC)From:And you are very welcome ⥠:D
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:12 am (UTC)From:*snorts* for what it's worth, I do love you xD *sends lots and lots of love* (though I'm kind of busy stroking my mind-boner while watching a Deathgaze live ⥠pretty, pretty, pretty, fat singer â¥)
I imagine you, perched on their journal, with a creepy look, saying "I am watching you. I AM WATCHING YOU. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING."
LJ should have just kept that feature hidden, no one knew it had been there for months xD
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:16 am (UTC)From:Well, I can see that I needn't have apologised for being strange in front of you :D
Ohhh they can't get rid of the feature, it controls me now.
I am feature and feature is me
Who's in my journal
Let's see
I wish I had thought ahead enough to make that into a haiku
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:21 am (UTC)From:That feature will drive you mad *snorts* And maybe you'll publish a book full of crazy haiku about stalkers and lurkers and journals and breaking keys. Vowel keys. Even the space key would be good. Think about that.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 12:36 am (UTC)From:Actually, whenever I start writing, regardless of what laptop I'm not (electronics go mad around me, working theory: I am Hogwarts), my M key always starts to stick.
Every time.
I think there's still a few Ms missing from A Momentary Lapse of Reason. I should make finding them into a special competition for new readers*
Also, yeah, I wrote that haiku. It's called 'welcome to my journal'.
I think you'll agree
I put a lot of effort
Into - oh, bye then.
*No prizes
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 05:40 am (UTC)From:Sorry if I don't comment always, sometimes i don't really have much to say about the chapters. But i appreciate you work and hope you keep going :)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 09:10 am (UTC)From:It's just that there's so many people who read every update and yet never ever comment. That's what irritates me!
no subject
Date: 2013-07-20 06:43 pm (UTC)From:I just keep wondering what happened to him to ended up as yakuza member, he's friendly and nice, I can't even imagine him hurting somebody (now he even got a dog to make Shinya happy) yet he's here! I'm really curious about his background story, I don't know what to think of him!
I liked the Kaoru-Reita parallel in this chapter and I already planned to ask where Kai was and now I'm a little bit ashamed because it wasn't his first scene, and there were hints about the café owner's character yet I didn't recognize him!
I liked that oblique interrogation - although it was mean of Kaoru to lie poor Kai just like that, but the result of their small chat about Reita turned out very interesting, despite Kai knew him for three years the other never told him anything personal while there's Kaoru who seems a relatively new customer and he knows the cop pretty well already... it's a little bit suspicious...
no subject
Date: 2013-07-21 06:01 am (UTC)From:And that's only because I just read this chapter and blinked maybe twice. i just couldn't.....
The big part that sticks out to me is the awkward interview about Reita... I'm SOOO curious about him! What's up with Reita???
Kyo needs to steal Toshiya away and just leave. XD
And a puppy! Omg that's so sweet!!! ^^
<//3 I honestly hate the new lj feature. I don't like being haunted by ghost readers. I'd rather them make their presence known!! If not, i don't want to know they're there. It's depressing. v.v Like, is my shit not good enough for you? Jeez. lol
no subject
Date: 2013-07-21 09:11 pm (UTC)From:And comments are the best form of currency because literally everybody can afford that!
I'm drunk as well. Thanks for commenting darling ;)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-21 07:33 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2013-07-27 02:17 pm (UTC)From:I've fallen behind with this tale, but that gives me plenty of opportunities to comment. Thanks so much for all your hard work!
no subject
Date: 2013-07-27 07:03 pm (UTC)From:I think it's inevitable to fall behind with this one. It is LONG.