PROTECT ME: CHAPTER TEN

[andrew_in_drag]

Title: Protect Me
Author: andrew_in_drag
Pairing: Kaoru x Toshiya
Rating: mature
Warnings: sex, rudeness, swears, boyish attitudes, AU
Chapter: 10/??
Previously: prologue >> one >> two >> three >> four >> five >> six 
>> seven >> eight >> nine 
Synopsis: “Toshimasa Hara. Even now I sometimes find it hard to decide if his name gives me heartache or a headache…”

As a police officer in Shinsekai, Osaka, Kaoru has seen his fair share of trouble. Chaos takes a human form, however, in Toshiya Hara, a young local who seems intent on showing him that sometimes the right way is not always the good way, and that sometimes the wrong way can be the path to redemption…

CHAPTER TEN

It was raining.

Toshiya lay below me on the floor of my bedroom, eyes dark, skin flushed, hair in a dense black cloud around his shoulders. The abandoned bed sheet licked at his body like flames, clinging to his hips and thighs just the way I wanted to. My head was full of thunder and storms and sparks.

I looked at him. A light sheen of sweat glittered on his chest, and somehow his body had become something new and strange and exquisite that I couldn’t stop touching; couldn’t stop kissing, until I was half on top of him, his slender arms around my back, nails scraping, grip tight enough to cut off my breath.

“I love you.” I couldn’t stop saying it. “I love you so much. I can’t believe how much.” I kissed his navel; kissed his hips. His beautiful thighs parted for my hands like my lips were the password, and he moaned lowly. The sheet whispered and his eyes seemed to crackle as they met mine; he traced a hand over my chest, my stomach, my dick. Very gently I pulled him up and into my lap, gasping at the feeling of his skin on mine. He leant forward so we were chest to chest like babies in a womb, legs tangled, my back against the wall to stop me from simply giving in and collapsing. My dick pressed hard against his ass, and as he shifted I felt his brush against the hard muscles in my lower stomach: and god, how I loved him.

 “I want you inside me,” he said, his voice soft but burning. Thunder crashed from above us and I kissed him, long and deep, never able to get enough of him. I felt his hands tangle in my hair and slide to cradle my face: his lips were hot, hotter than fire; hotter than all the coals I would walk across for him. His gaze on my body was a physical thing.

It’s what they don’t tell you, I thought deliriously: that the secret of making love is in the eyes, and what you find there; and what they find in you…

“Please, Kaoru,” he whispered, “Please.”

I held him as gently, I slid inside him, meeting no resistance. His body opened up and welcomed me like I belonged there, and a long, shuddering gasp escaped my throat as he moaned lowly.

“It’s never the same,” he murmured lowly, “Not with anyone else—” he swallowed, pressing his forehead to mine, “Nobody loves me like you love me.” The emotion in his voice made me tremble; slowly, he rocked his hips forward, easing the groan from my lips. Every move he made, I felt a thousand fold: even now, I don’t know how we didn’t fall. His hands were clasped around the back of my head and I clung to his waist, holding him as he rolled our bodies as one; I stared at him as he stared back at me.

And I felt it. I felt electricity shooting in arcs and ribbons between us; heard it crackle in our bodies and eyes. Waves of pure power fuelled us, like heat lightning; he flung his head back and moaned deeply. His legs were shaking from the force of it, passing the tremors onto me as if I was being shocked through him, and I was so lost in my head and his eyes and his body that I almost didn’t hear it; so busy loving him that I almost didn’t hear—

“I love you, Kaoru.” It was a whisper against my lips, “Oh God, dear, I love you so much…”

I cried out, pulling him even closer, close enough so that we might fuse; so that we might have been lucky enough to have become one perfect being. For a moment, we were, and I could no longer see his eyes but see through them; my own face reflected in his gaze, the rush of love that surged between us.

“I love you.” He kept whispering it, pulling me deeper into the storm we were creating. I wanted him to go on saying it forever; wanted his voice in my head always; hated every moment that he wasn’t saying it. He loved me. Thunder tore through the sky and lightning etched flames into the clouds; it was hot, so hot. He surged in my lap, making me scream hoarsely; together, we fell backwards, still connected, legs tangled, bodies converging.

“Oh god,” he moaned deliriously, forehead against mine as he rode me, “God, I love you, I’m so close—”

Fire ripped through the heavens. Voltage spiked. He came in a flash of lightning and cried out as if he’d been electrocuted, still rocking against me, burning me with his heat as thunder shook my building, and he gave that final strike—

And we lay there, trembling. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his hair as he shook in my arms; he grabbed onto me like a child.

“Toshiya, I—”

“I know,” he said, and I could tell from his voice that he was crying. “Kaoru…”

“Did you mean it?”

He was silent for a long time. Outside, the storm raged. I could feel his breath hitching against my chest as I stroked his hair and his back. Both our bodies were slick with sweat. Lightning made our shadows jump over the walls, and this time I counted to three before the thunder came.

“The storm,” he said softly, “It’s moving further away.”

I pressed my face into his hair, suddenly wanting to cry; whether from sadness or joy, I couldn’t tell.

“Did you mean it?” I breathed.

Silence. Lightning. Thunder.

“Always.”

The next morning, he was gone.

I awoke with a start; I had a dream he’d kissed me, he’d cried, he’d said he was sorry.

He left me a note. That was the first thing different: I realised that I’d never even seen his handwriting before. His script was shaky and cramped; in several places, the ink had run, as if it’d gotten wet.

Kaoru, it said, I’ve been trying so hard to figure out how to tell you something, but before I didn’t know how. Please meet me at the address I put. I used to be scared, but I’m not anymore. I have something to show you.

I love you,

Toshiya.

And the address was for somewhere in Shinsekai that I hadn’t been before. I have something to show you.

My body prickled all over with chills. I had known: oh yes, I’d known that there was some secret behind him, and now I was going to find out, for better or for worse.

I looked at his note more closely. The writing looked as if it’d been written with a hand that trembled; the water stains made me wonder if he had been crying. Disturbed, I reached for my mobile phone and wrote a quick text message to the inspector I worked under, giving him the address Toshiya had written down.

And then I stalled. I loved him, so why didn’t I…?

Trust him, something whispered in my ear. Trust me. Toshiya’s voice.

I left the message on the screen but jammed the phone in my pocket without sending it, and started to pull my clothes on. As if I was on a stakeout, my senses felt rubbed raw and sensitive; a sense of foreboding had coiled in my stomach like a snake – and yet my heart told me that, with him, I would be alright.

I shoved my phone in my pocket and headed out the door, Toshiya’s note firmly in my hand.

The rain had broken the humidity only temporarily: as I walked, I could feel the heat of the day collecting. I checked my watch: it was nine thirty. My pace quickened.

Did I sense something? I was conscious not to walk over any of the cracks on the pavement. I was focussing so hard that I almost mowed down a group of children, having not heard them at all as they played. One member of their small group had a blindfold on, and the rest clapped their hands as they sang to him in their cute, ducklike voices; “devil, devil, come this way…”

Despite myself, I shivered. I passed buildings that sank deeper into squalor the further down the street I walked: twice, I ended up in blind alleys and had to backtrack. The houses here were all small family homes, though some looked entirely empty; they sat squat, hugging the streets closely.

The house Toshiya had specified was one of the ones that looked empty.

I stood still for a few long moments, surveying it in its entirety, although honestly it wasn’t much to look at. Its boundary was indicated by a low, crumbling brick wall, and its windows were dead eyes. There were rusted hinges where a gate had once been, but it had long since been wrenched away; weeds ruled the gravel path that led up to the entranceway, and several of the roof tiles appeared to be missing, giving the impression of a balding head.

On heavy legs I stepped forward, my footsteps crunching conspicuously over the gravel. The house had no bell, just a rusted-looking knocker with a demon’s mask engraving; raising my hand, I reached for it—

“Nobody’s home,” a soft voice said from behind me, and I whipped around so fast that my head spun.

“Toshiya,” I said breathlessly. He stood midway down the path, hip cocked so violently that he looked broken. He wore a suit jacket and a dark-coloured kilt over either skin tight black leggings or long black socks, I couldn’t tell. Combat boots. Sunglasses.

“C’mon,” he told me woodenly, “It’s this way.”

Without saying anything more, he led me down an alley beside the house. Off the street, it seemed much quieter. The insects hummed in the trees. Down the alley, a few cars were parked: three were past their best, one was burnt out, but there were two others that looked new and expensive, and were polished to a high shine. Next to them, a van was parked in the shade.

Inside my mind, the policeman in me was making notes.

“Toshiya—?” I asked questioningly, and he turned around to face me. Slowly, he pulled the sunglasses off. His eyes were red-rimmed; he might have been crying all night. Stunned, I stepped towards him.

“Kaoru,” he said, his voice sounding choked. As I touched him, fresh tears welled up in his eyes. Stepping forward, he kissed me: a brief, hard kiss. It felt like a stamp.

Like a signal.

“Kaoru,” he said, struggling for breath, “Kaoru, I’m so sorry—”

Something crunched over the back of my head and my world plunged into darkness. 


>> to chapter eleven >>

Comments

[tcharlatan.livejournal.com]

...WELL. That's quite the cliffhanger now, isn't it? ^_^; Ah, me... I usually hold off on reading multi-chapter fics until they're finished just because otherwise I get too attached and the wait between chapters drives me crazy. But I just had to read the first installment of this... and it got me too attached... and now I'm going to go crazy waiting for the next chapter!

This is my favorite kind of story; well-written, dramatic, and tweaks at the emotional masochist in me.

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you very much! I know exactly what you mean about the wait - it drives me nuts, too!
Glad to know you're enjoying reading this regardless! The next chapter will be up tomorrow, around midnight GMT :) xx

[tcharlatan.livejournal.com]

You're a treasure <3

[libra-iruka.livejournal.com]

I love everything about this and you have no idea how happy it makes me that you update it so regularly. I have something to look forward to after work/school.

[andrew-in-drag.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks a lot for commenting :) x

[lady-sb.livejournal.com]

ahhhhhhh cliffhanger! I am away for work so I can't read it as early, but it still makes my day

Toshiya...what are you up to

[deg-no-kasumi.livejournal.com]

I may be repeating what have been said yet but such a cliffhanger! I was so happy : Toshiya said him he was in love but.... what the heck is this trap ?! You're such a magician, giving me goosebumps like these!!! =3 I think actually that Toshiya is terrified by something that makes him act like this... u_u I can't stand waiting for chapter 11 !!