harder, better, faster, stronger, bigger, fatter, more mentally unstable

So, having finished Fifteen Years, I have slowly started banging my doldrums, because I want to be writing again. 

Fifteen Years was a very intense writing experience. Not only did it touch on things that were a bit heavier than my usual subject matter, but I also did not write ahead to the extent I normally do...so I found myself writing a chapter a day, every day, composing it in my head during work and then writing it all down after work. So my output was about 2500 words a day, which is quite a lot when you consider that's the same size as my average assigned essay.

Although I fear in third year they will rise to 3000 words and beyond. But we just won't talk about that. 

So anyway, now that I'm no longer writing it, I'm really missing having that distraction...!

So what I am getting around to, in a pretty rubbish way, is that tonight/this morning I put down the first few words of my (as yet untitled) companion piece, featuring Kyo's side of the story. But I mean, crikey, son. This really will be a jump into deeper, darker, dirtier waters for me. When I sat down with my laptop and started thinking about it, it struck me that if I was going to write this, it would be impossible to escape the theme of mental illness. If I didn't cover mental illness in this fic, well, that'd be like Plath writing The Bell Jar without mental illness. Or Kesey writing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest without mental illness. Or Morrison writing Beloved without the slavery or sawn-up baby - er, I digress. 

And it's a little intriguing to me, because although Fifteen Years didn't gain the same readership as, say, AMLOR, those of you who read it and were nice enough to comment on the final chapter seemed to just get more out of it. If that doesn't sound too pretentious. (It does, but fuck it, I'm too old to change now.) I received some comments that were wonderfully long and absolutely charming, and even affably bonkers (I'm looking at you, jade_lil).Overall, I just felt like my writing had gone up a notch. Of course, whether people actually agree with that or not is a different matter! But I felt good.

SO, what I want to know is, if I go down this genuinely troublesome route, will ya lovely ladies and potential gents in disguise still be interested in reading? 

And also, I need a bleddy title. 

T-t-t-teaser

I'm sick!

But I got all you guys' lovely feedback on my "huh?" post this morning, so I was thinking about Kyo's as yet untitled fic all day. 

There were a lot of things I had to think about. It's so confusing that I couldn't even type a plan out, because computers aren't designed to type in batshit insane chaos patterns. So it's all on one page, and it's about 40% arrows and crossings-out, and the rest isn't a real plan at all, it's a big list of scenes I want to include, and motifs*, and a sort of bizarre argument with myself about whether it should be first person, third person, or a mixture of both, like Fifteen Years. 

So I sat down and wrote something, and really I just want to put it here because I'm feeling insecure about this new venture, and wanna know whether this is the sort of thing that you folks had in mind or not. And if not, why not? 

I wrote it from first person, but I don't know yet whether or not it will be slotted into an entirely first-person fic, or if it will be a first-person interlude. I am leaning very heavily towards, er, both of those ideas. Of course, it might not end up in the fic at all. So, yes. Enjoy?! 


*You will probably learn very quickly from the teaser exactly what one of the motifs is. And how. 

( ding-a-ling-a-ling! )