A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON: 18/??

[andrew_in_drag]

Title: A Momentary Lapse of Reason
Author: andrew_in_drag
Pairing: Kaoru x Toshiya
Rating: mature
Warnings: sex, swears
Chapter: 18/??
Previously: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
Synopsis: When it comes to healing broken hearts, Toshiya is a professional. Good-looking and charming, he makes his living by gently helping the jilted to go on with their lives, whilst steadfastly refusing to settle down himself. Boasting a one hundred percent success rate, Toshiya is sure his method is flawless - until he meets Kaoru, a lonely academic who, despite Toshiya's better judgement, starts to get under his skin...

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

Toshiya could hardly believe what he was about to do as Kaoru pressed a tube of lubricant into his hand, his fingers shaking a little; through arousal or nervousness, Toshiya couldn’t tell.
“It’s okay to change your mind,” he said softly, one hand working calmly over the smooth skin of Kaoru’s thigh. The older man just laughed huskily.
“I want this,” he said simply, and Toshiya nodded. It didn’t matter that the other man might miss the gesture in the dark: their bodies were so close they could feel each other’s every movement – Toshiya could feel how Kaoru’s chest twitched with every heartbeat; how Kaoru’s dick throbbed against his thigh demandingly.
Still, he kissed his cheek and murmured, “Turn the light on.” As he spoke, he squeezed cool gel over his fingers and immediately brought his hand down to Kaoru’s cock, stroking it where it pressed urgently against his body.
“The…” Kaoru seemed to be having a hard time concentrating, “The light?”
“If you don’t do this often, I don’t want to make any mistakes, babe. I want to see what I’m doing. And I want to see the effect it has on you.” He grinned, biting down on Kaoru’s earlobe. “I want to see you come.”
A deep shiver passed through Kaoru’s body, and without speaking he reached to flick the bedside lamp on. The glow was soft and warm and made his skin look radiant. Toshiya kissed his shoulder; he kissed him everywhere. He couldn’t seem to stop.

With the light on, it was easier to negotiate his way down Kaoru’s body. As exciting as it had been to do it in the dark, actually seeing the man sprawled out beneath him was delicious. He thought to himself how finely-made Kaoru was, how compact; how simply perfect.
And with that in mind, he trailed one slick finger over his entrance, rubbing the sensitive skin there in ever-smaller circles until Kaoru finally moaned lowly and shifted, silently begging Toshiya to enter him.
And so he did. He almost gasped as he slid his first cool finger into Kaoru’s body; the heat, the tightness – he could only imagine how it would feel around his cock.
As if he was reading his thoughts, Kaoru caught his eye, staring at him wickedly.
“How do I feel?” he asked, his voice so blatantly sexual that Toshiya felt his dick twitch in response: how, how had he not seen this side of Kaoru’s personality before?
He’s really changed, Toshiya thought.
And then, no, he hasn’t changed. He just has no reason to hold back anymore.
A scarier thought: because he trusts me.
The scariest thought: because he loves me.
“Babe, you feel amazing,” he said honestly, his voice almost breaking with meaning. He was so desperate to show Kaoru that his trust had not been misplaced.
Slowly, he slid his finger deeper, feeling his lover’s body come alive around him. Gently, he rocked his hand back and forth, exploring Kaoru’s body until his probing finger hit its target, and Kaoru let out a cry somewhere between surprise and sudden, intense pleasure.
“There,” he gasped redundantly, “Oh, fuck—” his eyes met Toshiya’s as the taller man grinned, rubbing his finger against Kaoru’s prostate deliberately.
And it bothered him every time, how they would prepare to make love and Toshiya would all of a sudden get hit by the impression that what was about to happen would be far, far more intense for him than he would ever have guessed; that for all it meant to Kaoru, it was possible that it meant just as much to him.
Dangerous. He loved him. He did.

Carefully, Toshiya slid his middle finger past Kaoru’s tight muscles, pausing for a moment to let his lover adjust before slowly thrusting his fingers in and out, just gently, nudging Kaoru’s prostate with the bare minimum of pressure before backing off again.
It was maddening.
“Toshi…” Kaoru was squirming, trying to push himself further down on the taller man’s digits, “Please, more…”
Toshiya could only smile, scissoring his fingers slightly as he pulled them out, intentionally lingering around the other man’s entrance just to tease him.
“Please…”
It seemed to be all Kaoru could say. He spread his legs a little wider, his cock smearing an indecent trail against Toshiya’s belly, and in that instant he looked so damned beautiful that it was all Toshiya could do not to lose himself right there, because he simply couldn’t believe that he was able to do this; to look at this extraordinary man and touch him in this way; to go inside him; to love him so thoroughly.
He grabbed Kaoru’s hips and carefully pulled them upwards, resting the other man’s body against his own shaking thighs. His eyes never met Kaoru’s as the head of his dick nudged between the cheeks of the other man’s ass, pressing against his entrance with only a moment’s hesitation. Taking a deep breath, he linked Kaoru’s fingers with his and, trembling with the force of his own restraint, slowly slid inside Kaoru’s body.

Pause. Heartbeat. Toshiya saw it as if it was happening in slow motion; the way Kaoru almost contorted with pleasure, his head tipping backwards to expose the graceful line of his neck; the way his dick throbbed hard against Toshiya’s belly.
And then—
“Oh, fuck,” Kaoru gasped, his hands gripping Toshiya’s ass firmly, “Toshiya—”
“Are you hurt?” Toshiya asked, concerned, his hand rubbing Kaoru’s belly soothingly.
“No…” Kaoru shook his head almost frantically, “No, please, keep going!”
His hands on Toshiya’s ass pulled him deeper, and Toshiya felt his stomach dip with absolute desire; his breathing laboured, he pulled himself almost all the way out before thrusting back inside Kaoru’s willing body, finding just the right angle to make Kaoru cry out.
“Toshiya—”
He closed his eyes: it was all so good, so good. Kaoru’s body around his was so hot and tight he could hardly stand it, his pulse throbbing through the shorter man’s whole body; when Kaoru moaned, he felt the deep bass notes as his lover’s body hummed against his.
His whole body shaking, he thrust in again, harder, pushing against Kaoru’s prostate with such deliberateness that the other man’s noise of pleasure was strangled in his throat.
“Your body feels so good,” he sighed, his hand on Kaoru’s belly sliding to caress his rock hard dick, “You’re so perfect, every bit of you—”
Kaoru’s back arched off the bed as Toshiya rocked into him again. Their bodies connected with the sound of slapping skin, and in a moment of pure understanding, they both realized what they wanted: Toshiya fell back against the bed sheets, a lusty moan escaping him as Kaoru’s body followed. With his dick still buried deep inside his lover, Toshiya watched as Kaoru straddled him, his two perfect thighs on either side of his body as he pushed himself down on Toshiya’s dick.
And “oh fuck—” Toshiya panted, fighting to keep control of himself as Kaoru began to ride him, sliding up and down on his cock as if he was made for it. The sounds of skin on skin and harsh breathing filled the room, and Toshiya angled his hips upwards until Kaoru was moaning with every movement.
“There?” he breathed deliriously, his only answer a quick, deep, hot kiss. He felt he was drowning in Kaoru’s body. The scent of his lover’s skin was everywhere; all he could look at was Kaoru, Kaoru; the way the man’s back arched and his dick stood proudly in the air; the way his whole body rose and fell in rhythm, grinding against Toshiya’s dick as if his life depended on it. His muscles tightened as he neared his peak and Toshiya almost screamed at the added pressure.
“Kaoru, let go,” he begged, his eyes filling with tears of pure pleasure, “Oh please—” and his orgasm hit him, jerking his body flat across the bed as he came deep inside Kaoru’s body. His hand involuntarily squeezed slightly around the head of Kaoru’s dick, and that was all it took to make the other man follow suit; he fell across Toshiya’s chest, panting even as his hips bucked fiercely in orgasm; once, twice—
“Oh my god,” he breathed. “Oh my god.”
Toshiya’s vision had completely whited. His chest rose and fell harshly as he waited for his daze to clear, for Kaoru’s hold on him to steady his return to the real world. Finally, he sighed heavily and pulled Kaoru closer to him, kissing the other man deeply.
“That was—”
“I know.”
And they stared at each other, both so happy they could barely talk, just because they’d found each other; just because they’d been so lucky.
“You said you loved me,” Kaoru breathed finally, his arms around Toshiya’s waist as if he would never let him go.
Toshiya twisted in his grip to face him, stroking his sweaty hair tenderly.
“I know.” He kissed him gently, “I meant it.”

Across town, Kyo rested his chin in his hand idly as he scrolled through the hits his search engine had returned. To the casual observer he might have looked bored, but if you looked closely there was a spark of resolute interest in his eyes, and his irises flickered over the screen restlessly.
Outside, the air had grown cold and still.
Suddenly he stiffened. Under the table, his legs began to jitter restlessly on the balls of his feet. His hand on the mouse clamped down.
Toshiya Hara – and then the man’s phone number – and then four words that Kyo stared at: healer of broken hearts.
He clicked on the link breathlessly. The website was some kind of forum local to Tokyo, and the subheadings at the top told him he was in the dating and relationships category: sub-category, reviews. He scrolled restlessly: reviews for lonely hearts events, speed-dating evenings, romantic restaurants, love hotels…
Toshiya Hara: healer of broken hearts.
Kyo clicked in, his eyes so wide that the whites were visible all the way around the irises. He read incredulously, his eyes travelling faster and faster down the page until he sat back in his chair, stunned almost into silence.
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed finally. “I’ll be god-fucking-damned.” 

to chapter nineteen →