andrew_in_drag | House of Cards: 38??

Title: House of Cards
Author:

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT: THE LAST KISS

Die jittered outside of the shateigashira's bedroom door.

Ordinarily, he was not to step foot in there unless expressly invited: the room was small but it belonged to Kyo, and that was to be respected.

He glanced down slyly at his watch and sighed. It was nine thirty in the morning, a light snow was starting to fall and he should have been up by now; when he slept the house slept, and it was time for everybody to wake up. Die couldn't understand what was going on.

According to the rules he was supposed to knock once, clearly, and say his name. If that knock was unanswered then he was supposed to respect the shateigashira's desire to not be bothered, and go away.

But it was nine thirty. This had never happened before. It crossed Die's mind that Kyo could be sick or dying in there, for all he or anybody else knew, and that was his cue to gingerly press down on the door handle to at least check if it was locked; at least that...

He tiptoed into that hushed, cold, still bedroom. The feeling of the air alone told him the people were sleeping, and he inched himself around the door. Two kimonos lay discarded on the floor, drooping puddles of expensive silk; the silver ornament that had been in Toshiya's hair was glittering innocently in the morning light. A few flurries of snow were starting to clump together and stick to the windows, dimming the room slightly; still, Die could not avoid the sight of the shateigashira fast asleep in the bed with Toshiya next to him, the two of them curled up like twins.

They were holding each other. That was the strange thing.

Die had never seen the shateigashira touch somebody like that.

The sheets were twisted viciously about their waists, and because of that Die could see clearly how Kyo's hand pressed against Toshiya's hip, flattened over his skin possessively; he could see how Toshiya had tangled his own fingers with those tattooed ones and linked them together.

Die swallowed and realised that he was standing very, very still. For some reason, what he saw scared the hell out of him.

He closed the door behind him so carefully that the catch didn't make a single sound.

It wasn't until about thirty minutes later that Kyo woke up, and by that time the light snow had turned to a fairly heavy sleet, with lumps of watery ice dripping slush down the windows and a cold, white winter light filtering through to fall across his eyes.

It wasn't like in the books or the movies, where the character wakes up and blinks in confusion and doesn't know where they are or what has happened. It didn't take any time at all to come back to him. He felt Toshiya's skin under his palm and remembered all of it straight away, like it was a dream that had passed seamlessly into his waking life; he didn't even try to sit up, but sighed softly into the pillow.

He knew without looking that there would be signs of last night hidden all over the room, messages scribbled in invisible ink for the eyes that knew: an obi sliced into halves; a ruined kimono; dark marks on Toshiya's neck and bruises on his ankles. Pillows on the floor. Kyo closed his eyes for something longer than a blink, as if the sight of Toshiya's sleeping face was more than he could bear to look at.

You're not a whore. He had said that.

In the morning light it was a plain old lie, and the shateigashira surprised himself by not having the energy to feel angry. Instead, he just felt sad. Toshiya's face opposite his was so unknowing and peaceful, as if there wasn't a thing in the world to worry about; that made him feel sad, too.

Would he take it back if he could?

All these mistakes he was making; could he honestly say that he wouldn't do them all over again? If he could go back to that stifling August night, would he just cut Toshiya's throat and be done with it?

He sighed softly, ruffling the tendrils of Toshiya's hair that were clinging to the sheets between them. He carefully eased his hand out from under Toshiya's and ran his fingers lightly up the other man's side, almost daring him to wake up and provide him with some kind of answer.

“This is stupid,” he mumbled to himself, but he found his palm fitting itself tenderly to the line of Toshiya's jaw. He smoothed some hair behind the younger man's ear and leant forwards so his lips just barely brushed his cheek; a kiss so light he didn't even stir.

“Why did you have to come along?” he murmured. “It was all alright until you arrived.”

His thumb stroked gently over Toshiya's throat. He could end it now if he wanted to. He could just press down on that graceful, defenceless neck and have it all as it once had been: his life and his head and his heart all back the way they used to be.

He could do it.

But one last kiss first; one more touch of his cheek; of his hair.

Just one last kiss.

Just one more.

One last kiss.

He stroked Toshiya's lower lip with his thumb, and realised that his hand was trembling slightly.

One final kiss.

“Will you still be here when I'm old?” he whispered. “Will I still want you when you're no longer young and beautiful?”

The pulse leapt in that beautiful throat.

But just one last kiss.

No more than ten minutes later, Kyo was washed and dressed and was tugging on a hat and a scarf, intent upon seeing his new father. He had thought that everything would only become clearer the higher he climbed, the closer he got to his goal – until the time he was named successor, when he would understand everything.

But he felt more confused than he had ever felt in his life.

He shut the bedroom door behind him and, on second thoughts, made sure to lock it. Die had a copy of the key somewhere around, for emergencies; he quickly headed to his assistant's room, rapping on the door roughly and not waiting for a response before pushing it open, “Die—”

He stopped short. Die was on the bed with Shinya, both their cheeks flushed and their lips reddened; Die was all but draped over the younger man, although he sat up in a flash when he saw Kyo and started combing his fingers through his hair anxiously.

“Good morning!” he said, his voice sounding higher than normal, “You're later than usual, I wasn't sure if—”

“Toshiya is locked in my bedroom,” Kyo interrupted him gruffly, “When he wakes up you'll need to let him out with the spare key and see that he has something to eat.”

“Uh huh,” Die agreed in a tiny voice.

“Then I need you to buy him another formal kimono.”

“Did something happen to the other one?” Die asked innocently – too innocently. Kyo's jaw set and Die flinched, getting to his feet and backing away slightly until his lower back bumped the windowsill.

“It was not appropriate,” Kyo said finally, his tone one of great displeasure, “This time, get him one in black and stop wasting money. A man's kimono. He's not a— a proper kimono, like mine.”

Die bowed very low, his cheeks flushing even redder than they already were.

“Of course,” he said quickly, sounding flustered, “Whatever you want, boss.”

Kyo gave him one last hard look before turning his gaze onto Shinya, who seemed to be trying to sink into the wall.

“You have work to do,” he said rudely. “My superiors have never believed in keeping electronic records; I want to modernise. Our papers are kept in the basement – Die can show you how to get down there – and I want you to transfer everything onto this computer, and then put some security in place around it. Destroy every paper document you finish with; is that clear?”

Shinya was pale. He nodded abruptly, glad for the task; it was likely the kind of assignment that would take weeks and weeks – whole days in which he could lose himself inputting information; just sit at his desk and dream.

“Where are you going, boss?” Die asked nervously.

Kyo gave him a look of sheer disgust.

“Never you mind,” he said delicately, and left the two of them silent in his wake.

The weather was still poor when he got outside, but Kyo decided to walk. There was a satisfaction in having his boots dirty the thin icing-sugar coating of snow that had managed to accumulate on the pavement; after his terrible, confusing morning, he was in the mood to destroy something beautiful.

Die and Shinya. Die and Shinya. He had known something was going on – he wasn't stupid – but the way they had been lying together before jumping apart filled him with irritation. Was that the way it was going to be, then? Die was the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend, and now he had to endure his only friend being so damn casual about the whole thing; letting go so joyfully – like it was all so easy.

And back in the bedroom, Toshiya's smile curled around the shateigashira's head like smoke.

“That was close,” Die gasped, lowering himself back onto the bed shakily, “Holy shit.”

Shinya was pretty sure that the shateigashira knew exactly what was going on, but he didn't know what the right was was to say that. Since Die had stopped kissing him he felt all unsatisfied somehow, as if there was some kind of addictive chemical to his lips; he had a feeling like there was a little heat inside him – just a little one, a tiny heat, like rubbing his hands together on a cold day. But he sensed that there was a great capacity for it to grow, hot and great as a supernova, and he wanted to see what it would feel like when it did. He wanted to kiss more; he was interested in that. It felt good. Die had been more or less lying over him, supporting his weight on his arms, and just for a few seconds before the shateigashira had disturbed them – just for a few seconds, Die had slowly lowered himself so his body was actually touching Shinya's all the way down, from their chests to their knees to...Shinya had felt his face grow hot: to in between those two places.

When hit had happened he'd grown quickly conscious of the fact that his cock was stiff in his pants; not something that particularly worried him. Sometimes he woke up with it like that, and of course it went back down in the end, but...

Die's had felt like that, too. And when their bodies had touched and he had felt it, he had suddenly lost all of his breath, and he'd felt the same thing happen to Die: he had felt his manner become more tender, more exploratory; gently, so very slowly, he had ground his hips down on top of Shinya's, and then—

And then Kyo had come in and they'd leapt apart like they'd been burnt.

“We should get to work,” he said miserably, staring down at his hands to make sure he was talking with his mouth and not his fingers.

“Yeah,” Die agreed, as if coming out of a daze. “I...yeah. But...” he hesitated, and then touched Shinya's hand, “D'you want to lie down again for a little bit, first?”

Shinya didn't need to answer that one. He smiled so widely he thought his face was just about ready to split.

A/N: Die and Shinya, who are you again? Haven't seen you in ages, guys! What? I don't love you as much as Kyo and Toshiya? You're quite right, I don't.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

The last two comments I tried leaving you on the previous entry were so brilliantly ignored by lj, who just decided I should go fuck myself, that I hope this one will go through (or else I am going to murder someone).

I absolutely LOVED the way Kyo just couldn't bring himself to squeeze the life out of Toshiya. How he just had to have one last kiss... He is still fighting against himself. Deep down, he is smitten.. Deep down, he knows he needs Toshiya... But he is holding so tight onto his power, onto what he is supposed to be.. he just won't let himself admit everything Toshiya is to him.

Die and Shinya (it's been a while!) are sweet together, trying to explore, trying to do what feels right, what feels good.. It's cute, really. And I love how you tell your characters that you don't love them as much as Kyo and Toshiya *laughs* Poor Shinya, I hope he didn't hear you, he might try to hide in a corner and never go out. And Die will be peeved. Yep.

Keep up the good work, dear~ â¥

Thanks darling!!

It's so funny. Whenever I write a chapter, I have a favourite part of it, and that's always the part that you mention. We have a link!

As for Die and Shinya, they're cute characters individually, but I have very little smut inspiration with them. I sort of think of Shinya as being smooth down there, like a Ken doll. Also I really hope nobody is looking for a happy ending with them because SPOILER ALERT, it won't be coming.

Teeheehee. <3

Kyos way of loving makes me cry so hard. Those fragile feelings and Toshiyas innocence left me breathless and yearning for the next kiss. And even the strong firm grip of Kyos Hand around Toshiyas throat coming from that delicate feeling is so...longing.
But this Shinya Die thingy really hits me hard and unawaited. Â°vÂ° But give me more of this. Hehehehehe~ I love Shinyas almost clumsy way of acting around Die. And his happiness about this rude instruction because this is a thing where he know what to do, even if he most likely had to be totally pissed cause off Kyos rude acting. XD

Dir/Shinya is more of a harmonious couple,they're fluffy and awkward.
While Kyo/Toshiya were more of coffee and donuts they go well together but one is bitter and the other sweet enough to make it up,still Kyo is forceful while Die is taking it slowly waiting for the right moment.

House of Cards: 38??

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